Monday, March 26, 2007

peace in the valley

so, yesterday was a big day for me at journey. a big day for me and leslie. and journey. we talked to the faith community about money. i hate talking about money. i'm not afraid of money as much as i know that talking about money with journeyers isn't what it's about. i love talking to journeyers, individually and collectively, about the things that matter like our hearts, and following jesus, and giving who we are away. serving. loving. forgiving. getting healthy. all that good stuff.
but talking about money because we all committed to journey, and to moving to the warehouse, and to having the staff we have ... i dunno, i just didn't like it. it felt weird. maybe it's because money is so weird in america. but it's nothing new - jesus had to talk about money a lot too, and about how it makes people weird.
and yet i'm very happy to say, Here is what we're doing, here is what we're dreaming about. and i know that that's what yesterday was about. and so that's good.
anyway, i was exhausted, hadn't slept well for days, didn't sleep much saturday night, konked out yesterday afternoon. and today i was just wiped out. i had lots and lots and lots of fear. it wasn't about having to default on the warehouse - it was about being alone, letting the journeyers down, not knowing what'll happen next.
i prayed and prayed. i argued with god. i begged for some peace.
and then it came, in the weirdest way:
i met with a couple who are getting married. they're in their 30's, quiet, nice. down to earth. i talked to them about their wedding, about their relationship, about their life together. they asked about journey - a friend from New Warrior referred them. and i just liked being with them. i gave them the tour of the warehouse.
i stood there, after they left ... and was ... happy. hopeful. i knew that we are where god has led us - as a faith community. with a dream. with something we believe in. and that it was the right thing to do, to tell the journeyers that this is worth committing to.

i love you guys.
i am grateful.
strangely.

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