Monday, April 23, 2007

nice to know you

this is what i think jesus might want to say to me when i raise objections about loving my enemies.
actually what i believe in my heart is that i make my own enemies; i have no enemies. anybody who "makes me feel" anything is actually just pushing a button in me. someone gets in my face and i'm angry? i'm afraid they'll hurt me because i've been hurt. someone is nervous and i get nervous? i'm afraid i won't be able to handle the situation because when i get nervous i'm afraid i'll make a mistake, blow it, whatever. someone is acting hatefully? i've acted hatefully - because of my own brokenness - and i've been treated hatefully - and i'm afraid that that anger and bitterness inside me will come flying out and kill everyone.
i don't have any enemies except my own shadow. so, welcome, shadow. welcome.
the rock band incubus has a brilliant song "nice to know you" -

I haven’t felt the way, I feel today
In so long it’s hard for me to specify
I’m beginning to notice
How much this feels like a waking limb
Pins and needles, nice to know you
Good-bye, Nice to Know You

Hey, my shadow: if i can see you, then i have freedom. i can love the world. no problem. so, nice to know you. goodbye.

2 comments:

KJ said...

sigh.

you are so right and I hate hearing this. Not really, but man. "I make own enemies." It's tough to accept that and yet, ultimately there is liberation. Probably why Jesus talked about it. thanks.

nonprofitprophet said...

ok, the plus side is you have way more friends...who will help you kick your enemies butt when the time comes.
I get your point. however, we also have enemies not of our own choosing. Too me, this makes it harder to love them because I didn't choose them as my enemy to start with. Jealousy, those who do not like to hear truth, those who would hate me because of race, religion, nationality, whatever. To combat this sort of enemy and their hatred is difficult because it is based upon ignorance. To show love to an unwilling recepient is harder for me than an enemy I chose. Cause if I chose to make them my enemy - i can unchoose it. If they made the choice, it is harder to change them and harder for me to love them.