Monday, July 23, 2007

stubborn before the creator

here's a conversation between me and nonprofit prophet. i had said that i am patient when it comes to waiting for the right thing, and determined. the prophet is a stud. check it out.

prophet: I think Stubborn is a good term for you. I like it better than patient. Patient is not always good. Neither is stubborn but it seems to fit better.
me: i'm in agreement. i am stubborn. much more stubborn than i was when we first met [ten plus years ago], although i was getting my back up even then. back then, i was wondering - is it me? am i crazy? is something wrong here? now, i'm like, fuck yes something's wrong here and i'm going to fight.
if fighting some days means standing still, i'll stand still. if some days fighting means speaking up, then dammit, i'm going to speak. if fighting means lovingly confronting people in their comfort or complacency or fear (including myself), i'll do it. if fighting means forgiving and blessing, i'll do that too.
i'm becoming fearless. living through some crucifixions and pain and loss and grief and continuing to stand and flourish and learn, will do that to a man. all good.

then he refers to my comment on a comment on the blog that i'm tired of the whole conservative/liberal political and theological thing.

prophet: be honest with you. i'm tired of both sides of the theological debate. i see points on both the apologetics and the so called liberal views. i am beginning to think neither has it figured out and both claim to know better than the other.
me: i am totally with you. everybody's doing the best they can and to villainize any one group is to empower it - and to be in a sick place. to say they're all wrong and i'm all right is the same shit the fundamentalists, in any religion, are doing. i'm not that. i don't want to be that. ugh.
prophet: I'm not playing middle of the road here, but i rely less and less on what some person is trying to tell me about the nature, essence, plan or whatever of God, and hell, i just listen to the Author of the creation. I ambecoming more and more frustrated with people who try and put a label or containment field on "their view of God". i'm not sure it can be done.
He is no more a liberal than He is a conservative. We worry about getting his commandments right, following the right doctrine, interpreting the BS or His Will...and we don't even bother to have a relationship with Him to start with.
me: sucks don't it. fuck. wears me out. a real relationship with the creator of the universe leaves me quiet and still and determined and forgiving, not arrogant and self-assured that i'm right and everyone i don't agree with is wrong. as anne lamott says, you can be pretty sure you've created god in your own image if god doesn't like all the same people you don't.
prophet: Three times in a week I have been presented in various forms with the scripture of Jesus saying, "your lips praise me but your hearts are far from me".
Its like we want to come across as having it figured out and we can show you why we are right, but we really don't need God or Jesus in the picture to do that. Its all about meeeeeeeee and my school. Its like studying someone, having a focus group and research and discussing it all, and the person is in the room with you and you ignore them. Strange.
me: okay, that's brilliant. that's perfect. post this. or i will. just get this out there.
prophet: Maybe i'm in a strange mood. Or maybe i'm in a great mood - cause I'm just tired of everyone's shit.
me: that absolutely works for me. stubborn. word.

prophet: Revelation also comes into mind - lukewarm? brother ain't got time for you. nice? whatever. there has just got to be a much better way.

is the prophet the bomb or what? as Rage Against The Machine say, "calm like a bomb."


CoachPeacock said...

what is it about our humanity that pushes us to make a stand on just about ANYTHING and have a need to prove or disprove someone else's stand? are we that faithless to have to know we are right all the time? are we called to be right about God or are we called to be faithful towards God? What is the engine pushing this way of thinking? Are we following in our parents or mentors footsteps blindly? Are we picking the wrong examples to follow? Do we even KNOW what a good example is? Are we supposed to help people find the right examples??? Oh wait... if we did that then we would ALSO be choosing what is wright and wrong to believe. SHIT!

Rick Diamond said...

honestly, i think a big part of it is that we're just afraid. why else would be so insistent that we're right, and someone else is wrong? if god is as big as i think god is -- okay, that sounded stupid, but you get the idea -- then what do we even have to be afraid ABOUT? tis all good. let's relax and embrace what's good in everything. if we think there's something that's not healthy, my thought is, we'd better spend a lot of time in that mirror first ...

CoachPeacock said...

so by this explanation, is:

fear the opposite of faith?

think about that. When you have faith, you are lacking fear, and when you have fear, you are lacking faith.

writeright007 said...

Oy vey isimer ! you two are something else trying to keep up with your thoughts .
ok here is my take on the subject :

faith does replace fear. but what if you no longer need faith because you have over come fear of certain experiences or situation ?

then what do you call it?
knowledge / wisdom? rather than faith or fear?

we as individuals it takes time , experience and work to figure out what values, and characteristics we deem important then put them into action . then we can know for ourselves right from wrong and teach our children.
and go on that whole hero's journey its ups and downs and learn as we go.
right or wrong we are making choices along the way that effect the outcome. thank God for repentance and grace !!!

if its our desire we will find the answers that satisify our soul about our own life, God, living, death and our spirituality (how to communicate with God so you can hear or feel him mentor you through
life's journey.) he is the one we can count on being their for the asking.
he guides us to the people that are there to help us find our own truths. then he shows us those in need of a mentor needing our help finding their own truths. and life goes on!
i don't like it one bit when others make a judgment about you and they have no idea what your life is like. but yet they think they know it all. there fore in their eyes they have the right to judge you. religions and systems are all bickering back and forth now days.trying to be "king of the hill!"