Thursday, July 5, 2007

this makes more sense to my soul, part 1

i have struggled for years with a question. it's not "why do bad things happen to good people?" - but, "why does a loving god allow human beings to go on and on and on with false understandings and assumptions and information and systems? especially if it's just ignorance, and people could be so much happier and healthier if they had the right awareness and information?"

it has occurred to me that so much suffering could be avoided if people just had better information. about themselves. about addictions. about nature. about other people. hell, for thousands of years, about pasteurization and disease prevention and prejudice. there are people - millions - who don't know how to dig a well, to irrigate their land, to prevent AIDS. they don't know how to prevent dictatorships, to assert themselves, to become strong and whole.
my god, i don't know how to become strong and whole most of the time! i'm in my late 40's and i'm just figuring out some of the most basic parts of that. tools. simple stuff.
not to mention people's suffering because of their ignorance about god and the bullshit of religion and its enslavement through superstition and doctrine and dehumanization.

i was mad at god for a long time about this.
my focus was on the prevention of human suffering. i thought that was the objective.
then i heard arguments like, The point is to learn from our suffering, and continue to evolve and improve as cultures. What we struggle with makes us stronger. Etc.
that made no sense to me. a child who dies from disease? a woman who stays in an abusive marriage because the church tells her to be submissive? people dying of starvation?
i also heard the arguments, Well, god's ways are not our ways, and we're just to accept that all things happen for a reason. Someday we'll be in heaven and understand that this was the will of god. except for the non-christians, who will burn eternally.

and then it shone into my soul.
emily dickinson said, "This world is not conclusion."
this world, this human existence, is not the point. it's only part of our journey. it is full of suffering and sadness. this life is absolutely painful. it is also full of joy.
all of this - my joys, my pain, my lessons, my losses - all of this - my mistakes, my successes - all of this - my heart breaking and my breaking of others' hearts - all of this - is a gift.
we are here to learn to love and be loved. our joys and our suffering are all part of this process.
i thought we were here to avoid suffering. we are not. we're here for something else.


CoachPeacock said...

I think that in order for God to allow us the chance to feel everything He created, God created a wonderfully naturally occurring world ruled by cause and effect and governed by laws and principles. He created it once, and thats all He needed to do. Then he created these wonderful beings we refer to as 'humans' who have free will, the ability to make decisions and reason (ahahahah) and so forth. So why does a loving god allow human beings to go on and on and on with false understandings and assumptions and information and systems? especially if it's just ignorance, and people could be so much happier and healthier if they had the right awareness and information? I don't think its so much Him ALLOWING that, its all of us choosing to NOT grow in our journey, to seek out our own truths or the right information, to finally break away from our comfortable little rat race lifestyles and follow the rest of the sheep. God is there... yelling 'COME ON!!! I gave you a brain, fucking use it for once!" I think we do it to ourselves. Its our job to wake our asses up from this numbing life we are lead to by our predecessors, not God's. His job was to create a world where miracles can happen. Its when we finally CHOOSE to wake up and quit hitting the snooze button that the miracle finally happens. Just like Morgan Freeman said in "Bruce Almighty", you have to BE THE MIRACLE. We all to often get comfy on our lazyboys waiting for magical fairy dust to appear from the sky, for a voice from the heavens, or some OTHER romantizied hollywood created special effect parlor trick like parting tomato soup to change our lives and save us from OURSELVES. Thats totally not what God is all about. God wants us to come home to Him willingly, to love Him back willingly. And we can only get there by picking ourselves up and moving our asses towards Him. Thats the journey, and getting up is just the first step and its more times than not the most painful. And its really our own fault we fell anyway, whether we knew what we were doing or not at the time.

Rick Diamond said...

yo stud.
i see it. we just stay stuck. we've got the tools, we choose not to use them. you are dead right.
it was just making me sad that so many times, i don't think people have the tools - because they just don't KNOW enough. mostly about themselves. i would've gotten much healthier earlier in my life, but i didn't know. i tried. i worked. i wanted. but i just didn't know what the hell to do.
i'm learning. and that's good. what i want is for everybody to have everything they need to get there - and what i can do is teach, share, give gifts, share. try.
but, yeah, sometimes we have the tools and we just don't give a damn.

CoachPeacock said...

Is it God's job to provide the tools to those who just don't know enough? Is that kind of an entitlement mentality that we have developed, or is it God's PEOPLE'S job to share the good news, equip as many people with the tools they need to finally get it? I feel ya dawg. Its sad to see people lost and you just want to say 'Here, this is my tool. Use it as you need to lift your life out of this ditch you are in'. Oh wait a minute. Aren't blessings things that we should pass on to others? Funny thing is everytime I pass on a blessing of mine, that blessing doesn't go away for ME... I have an unlimited amount of it. hmmmmmm

writeright007 said...

" i tried. i worked. i wanted. but i just didn't know what the hell to do!"
ahh sometimes i think your too hard on yourself. because during those years of your trying...
i would have never guessed you felt like you did.

i think you were perfect in giving the "gift of knowledge."
and there was no one more christ like and willing to share the knowledge you had with those that wanted to further understand who they were . you taught us what gifts we had ourselves. but we didn't know how to open that box we needed your teaching , your spiritual insights to find out what our own truths were.

and those truths... changed our lives for the better...
so maybe you felt like you didn't know what the hell you were doing. but all the while you were doing exactly what those around you needed you to do.
were all here on a wing and a prayer...
like i said sometimes i think your just too hard on yourself!

Rick Diamond said...

thanks nancy!! thank you for your lovely words. i'm very glad that my teaching affected you and others!! this is very sweet to hear!
and, no worries - i may sound like i'm too hard on myself, but it really helps just to say it, all, the pleasant and the unpleasant, and then realize, it's all good.
thank you for your comment!!!!

writeright007 said...

my thought for the day ... if we didn't know pain and suffering how would we understand joy and happiness?

Its all relative ...
I wonder IF ones pain and sorrows are so terribly challenging .... IF our joy and happiness is equally added upon as well?

life experiences adds depth and demension to ones character . its not hard to spot someone who has experienced many hardships. and lived to tell the tale...they speak with a peaceful wisdom. YODA like !
so i guess its our goal to grow short and green and wrinkly with a tuft of hair .but full of wisdom:)

Rick Diamond said...

agree with you, i do!