i was on the phone with scott on my way to ACL fest weekend before last. we were talking about this and that. we got onto the topic of serving god, and how people will sometimes turn on each other, act out of illness or shadow. and how beautiful it is when someone breaks through and sees. and how it sucks when someone stays stuck, and transmits their poison.
scott said, "the devil doesn't care about the little shit. the devil doesn't care if you cheat a little on your taxes, or drive a few miles over the speed limit, or cuss. that's all kid stuff. if that's what keeps us busy, the devil doesn't mind that. that helps him.
"the devil doesn't care so much about the little lies as about the big lie. if the big lie's getting out there and fooling people, the devil's happy. his work is done.
"the big lie," scott said, "is that This Is All There Is."
if i believe that this world, this life, the way i'm feeling at this moment, is all there is? then i'll cheat or steal, or be nice, or behave, or whatever works for me, in order to minimize pain and maximize pleasure.if i believe that this world, this life, the way i'm feeling at this moment, is all there is? then other human beings only matter insofar as they make me feel good. and there is no god - so why put all that energy into trying to connect to something that's not there? that leaves me more energy to make this moment, this life, this existence, all i want it to be.
if i believe that this world, this life, the way i'm feeling at this moment, is all there is? then if the way things go for me, and my circumstances, and how i feel about that, determines everything. and if things go badly? there's no larger meaning. there's nothing to look for to make my life make sense, or even have coherence.
if i believe that this world, this life, the way i'm feeling at this moment, is all there is? then what's the fucking point, except to survive as long as possible?