Monday, November 12, 2007

spewed and screaming

the first thing i do every morning, after i wake my daughter up so she can get ready for drill team practice, is go into the kids' bathroom and get my toothbrush and toothpaste and brush my teeth. the cereal seems to taste better that way. then i go to the man cave. (the man cave is my half-garage writing space, which i share with a bunch of shit that needs to go up to the attic; the attic stairs are also in the man cave.) i bring a bowl of cereal, and coffee, and turn on my laptop, and check my schedule. see if there are any this-can't-wait-til-i-get-to-the-journey-warehouse-at-9 emails. then i write. and eat my cereal while i'm working.
olivia our elder cat comes out with me. she sits and waits, just hanging around, until i finish my cereal. when i'm done, i set the bowl down on the floor beside me and she drinks a little half-spoonful of milk i leave for her. sometimes while i'm still eating she just reaches up and touches my hip, sort of a "ummm ... i'm here .... i love you .... gimme the freakin' cereal ... but i'm being nice about it ... don't make me hurt you ..."
however, this past friday
was not usual because my parents in law were coming into town; today's my wife's birthday and they were in to celebrate. and go to the cedar park high school timberwolves' final football game of the season, to watch my daughter's drill team perform (brilliantly of course). so i was getting up to finish cleaning the house, and the week last week was weird anyway, lots of stuff happening with people, lots of people in need, schedules stacked up, just busy and chaotic. and i was trying to figure out what hadn't been done yet on getting the house ready, and working on my worship talk, and i needed to run some errands.
so i walked out to the man cave while still brushing my teeth. turned on the laptop with one hand, continued brushing with the other. checked email. lots going on. began to scroll down and see who was hurting about what.
sat down in my chair while still brushing my teeth with one hand. moved the chair back to get a better look at the papers on my desk. and the following things all happened at once:

a piercingly loud high scream coming from behind me

me jumping up in the air
toothpaste spewing out of my mouth, onto my desk, papers, cds, laptop
a cat flying across the room
me going "AAAAH! HOLY SHIT! WHAT!"

seems i rolled over olivia's tail. i didn't even think about her following me out to the man cave - i didn't have any cereal yet. but she didn't know that.

and here she sits this morning, patiently. she doesn't seem fazed. i on the other hand am very aware of where my chair's rollers are, and where olivia is, and where my cereal is.
and i also finished brushing my teeth before i came out here.


mandy said...

been a while since i've read your stuff mr.diamond. ugh, school.

olivia followed you out there because she is a direct descendent of pavlov's dog. but aren't we all? just a thought.


Rick Diamond said...

what up MM!
yeah, y'know, i wonder about that a LOT. i wonder if the deal with human beings is that we are conscious enough - or have the capability of being conscious enough - to go past our conditioning, through our decisions. but then, don't lots of mammals do that? don't whales, or dogs, or cats, or chimpanzees, have decision-making abilities that transcend their conditioning?
or is it ALL pretty much conditioning and our idea of free will is a mistake?

okay, way too early in the a.m. to think this hard ........... :-)