Saturday, December 1, 2007

o christmas twist

we go every year to a christmas tree farm in east texas, the day after thanksgiving. we've done this ever since our kids were tiny. the place we go has hayrides and hot cider and popcorn and a fire and a wood stove and a reindeer obstacle course and a couple of treasure hunt trails in the forest. it's wonderful.
here are some pictures from the tree farm's website. it's so cute!

i thought we had a pretty good tree this year. we looked and looked through the rows in the field - longer than we usually do. we always go with my wife's parents, and our daughter had brought her best friend from back where she grew up, and we brought a family friend we love - the awesome calla - so, we had a good crew. we all loved it. it's fat and really beautifully shaped. tall. my son cut it down and we all cheered. drove home to austin the next day with it tied to the top of the minivan. set it up in the tree stand.
it's crooked.
like, really crooked. the middle goes
bronk. or werp. or some other bendy word.
the tree fell down three times the first week i had it up. my really good christmas tree stand can't hold it up. the tree's just too twisted around. i was SO pissed off. the 2nd time it happened was on monday morning. that's just wrong.
i finally got it to stay standing. i added plywood to the bottom of the tree stand, and used thick wire to anchor the back of the tree to the window lock. and then for a few days i kept running into the wire with my head as i was watering the tree.
the angel this year leaned over so far i had to tie some black sewing thread around one hand and pull her back over a bit.
and yet ... last night, we decorated the tree with our zillions of ornaments, most of which are movie or cartoon characters or keepsakes from when the kids were young or my wife and i were young, and lots of little clear lights. we had a blast, played christmas music (nat king cole, frank sinatra, charlie brown christmas, leon redbone, etc.), enjoyed getting into the christmas spirit.
christmas is all about the impossible happening. just like all the christmas stories - the unlikely thing turns out to be sacred. the loser turns out changing everything.
george bailey in "it's a wonderful life,"
buddy in "elf,"
rudolph the red-nosed reindeer,
natalie wood and kris in "miracle on 34th street,"
charlie brown,
and that little poor, shotgun-wedding couple in a cruddy little town who have a baby who'll grow up to be executed as a guy threatening the authorities.
so, this is christmas. at least, part of it.
there's also the gross consumerism part of it, but that's a different blog entry.

i want to pray, Please, god, don't let the christmas tree fall down again. i swear i'll have a breakdown.
to which god says, Oh, breakdowns are good for you. they can help you get over yourself. eventually. see? a crooked christmas tree didn't hurt so bad.

oh, god, you just crack me up! ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ..............

bronk ......


happytheman said...

hmmmmmm every year I think it's time for a fake tree but then I'd rather shoot myself. Stealing from you last post. ....If a man goes to a place where they grow trees to decorate during a fat man's holiday, ties it to a MINIVAN and drives some 200 miles home, drills a hole in the middle of it to make it stand straight and decorates with ornaments worth more then the average person makes in Yemen and in the end it's CROOKED that man shall jump naked for said tree 300 times without seeking any medical help for his genitals. Thus saith the world of the lord Santa.

calla said...

haha. whoops!

journeyingrick said...

yes ... it would've been more manly to have brought it back in the back of my pickup. or on my tractor. or on the front of my forklift. would 200 miles be tough with a forklift?
yes. after all that, it's FRICKIN' CROOKED!
as you can tell i tried to come up with something spiritually edifying out of this. ... a stretch ...

journeyingrick said...

calla ...

nonprofitprophet said...

Good writing. Funny too. You left out my favorite: The Grinch! See ya. ~npp

journeyingrick said...

OH MY GOSH! THE GRINCH! you are totally right!!!
other christmas underdog/misfits -
all the misfits on the island of misfit toys
elves - i mean, seriously.
ebenezer scrooge
clarence the angel - and all the other skeezix in "it's a wonderful life"
tiny tim (a christmas carol, not the 60s guy)
the whole family in "a christmas story"

Anonymous said...

A lot of times at Christmas I emphathize the most with the Grinch's dog. Just tie a stick to my head and call me a frickin' reindeer!!! Hooked to a big heavy sleigh pulling for all I'm worth for somebody's Christmas... Duty? Loyalty? Friendship? Love? Stupidity? Dinner?
Ho Ho Howl......

p.s. God made the trees the way they are. Are the trees crooked or is it our perspective??

nonprofitprophet said...

and ...
Clark Griswold of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation fame.

Anonymous said...

2nd Griswald (or in these parts Steve D)

And another Scrooged with Bill Murray. Where is that stapler?