anyway, i've missed you.
when i'm writing, it's a sign that things are healthy for me. no, wait, that's too passive a way to say what i mean; rather, when i'm writing, it's a sign that i'm paying attention, listening - and that i'm taking steps to be healthy. (my friend shelton says "spiritual fitness.")
when i don't want to be spiritually fit, i can find SO MANY ways not to be. i can:
- watch tv for hours. i can justify that by watching home improvement shows, movies with depth or human insight (citizen kane, animal house ...), or documentaries. about, for instance, the movie animal house.
- rearrange my itunes catalog. download songs and add them to my itunes catalog. look for album artwork for the stuff on my itunes catalog.
- straighten the garage - but not really make it any different.
- eat. or not eat.
- run errands.
- update facebook (a new way for me to invest time and energy in something that doesn't really make my life any more healthy. great. why am i signed up? because my friends are! is this like 6th grade or what?)
- go outside.
- work in the yard.
- call a friend and say hi.
- read something meaningful.
- take a nap.
- hug your wife.
... or, you know, if this is what you really want to do, then, really - go ahead. but you don't like it, and you know it."
i concede that when there's a lot happening just logistically in my life - a daughter's birthday and in-laws here, and a house to clean to prepare for that visit, and a few evening meetings at the jifc warehouse, and special stuff to prepare for lent, etc etc etc - slack time just becomes less available.
but still. i can choose for my life to be completely logistically full, if i want to.
it's good to have a jiminy cricket. is it Love? my soul? god? my deep inner knowing? whatever it is, i'm glad it keeps reminding me.