Thursday, September 11, 2008

everybody poops

i thought about what to post on 9/11. instead, i decided to share with you something i've been reflecting on for months now:

everybody poops.

of course, there are some people who are exceptions - those who've had certain kinds of surgeries or other adaptations to their bodies' digestive systems. but in general, and even mostly in specific, everybody poops.
everyone on the planet, at some point every day or two, sits down or squats down, and expels solid waste from his or her body. wait. stay with me. i mean, everybody does it - it's like eating, or breathing, or blinking.
angelina jolie and brad pitt poop. barack obama and john mccain will probably poop today. gerard butler? pooper. nicole kidman, michael buble', don henley, tom cruise ... all will stop for as long as it takes and have a bowel movement. your mayor poops. dustin hoffman poops. so does barbra streisand. and all of the jonas brothers, right? and miley cyrus. and the pope.
yes. the pope poops.
a billion chinese people, give or take a few thousand, will take a break at some point today or tomorrow or the next day, depending on how things are going, and poop. every playboy bunny poops. every football player poops. (okay, that one isn't even strange-sounding.) the queen of england? yep. pooping today. maybe even right this second, six time zones ahead of where i am here in texas.
kids at school - at least, those who can't hold it til they get home. (i hear so many grownups say that they held it the best they could because school bathrooms were either a. disgusting, b. scary, or c. crowded.) teachers at school. yes, your english teacher pooped. and your principal. and chemistry, geometry, foreign language, history, p. e., and health teachers. all sat and pooped. terrorists poop. the person you admire the most. the person you can't stand.
all pastors poop, and professors. all manual laborers. all babysitters. nurses. inmates in prison. obstetricians. cowboys. pharmacists. politicians. gas station attendants. bus drivers. congresspersons. the ups guy or gal. gay and straight, christian and muslim and buddhist and jewish and unitarian universalist and atheist. democrat, republican, independent, green, communist, socialist, libertarian. your friends and those whom you perceive as your enemies. everybody you will see today.

every human being as being pretty much like every other human being. nobody's so high and mighty, or so unimportant, that she or he doesn't have to stop, just like me and you, and sit down for a little while, and do what the human body has to do, and then get on about their business. and rather than bringing people down to the same level, for me it reminds me that we're all "fearfully and wonderfully made" (psalm 139:14). that for all the clothing and makeup and uniforms and education and masks and roles we construct for ourselves, we're still very much in a human body, for a while, all of us, together. all the labels, ultimately, are only part of who and what we are while we're here. another part of who we are while we're here is an organism that takes in fuel and expels what's not needed.
which is, poop.

ps - what's the big deal, by the way, about talking about b.m.'s? is there some shame attached to poop? because nobody likes poop. it smells bad. it's pasty. it is, after all, waste - so maybe we're programmed to want to stay away from it. maybe that's why we make jokes about it.
and we all get together in public and eat, and drink, and read, and shop, and talk. but pretty much nobody poops in public. nobody even wants to admit that they pooped today. (although i did see an episode of oprah a few years ago that was, seriously, really cool because this doctor was talking about the importance of a healthy intestinal track and he normalized the whole thing. eat healthy. everybody will pass wind, on average, fifteen times a day. have a b.m. and then look at it. is it healthy, or not? he gave suggestions about what to look for - shape, texture, etc. ... at first i was freaked out and then i realized, yeah, good for you doctor - help us get over the weirdness and take care of our bodies. - and - oprah said, Yes, i've passed wind today.)
maybe it's because we're sitting down, and stuck, and vulnerable to predators. maybe it's because it's not like you can fake that you're really doing something else at the time ... "me? was i picking my nose? no, just rubbing something off my face." that doesn't work here.
i don't know. but it's okay. relax. you don't have to be ashamed. remember: the pope poops too.


Kelly Efurd Lawson said...

Good one. I like this post.


DM said...

Family guy has a great scene specifically about Everyone Poops, but I couldn't find it. This is great too:

Bob Carltom said...

i have always suspected

you are full of poop

now you are sharing it


Anonymous said...

See the children's book.

Everyone Poops
by Taro Gomi, Amanda Mayer

or from "The Road to Wellville"

Dr. John Harvey Kellogg: My own stools, Sir, are gigantic and have no more odor than a hot biscuit.

Dr. John Harvey Kellogg: One should never, ever, interrupt one's desire to defecate. I have inquired at the Bronx and London Zoos as to the daily bowel evacuations of primates. It is not once, twice, or three times, sir, but four. At the end of an average day, their cages are filled with a veritable mountain of natural health.

Poop is funny. Why else would apes throw it at us when we visit them at the Zoo.

Rick Diamond said...

I NEED TO GET THAT BOOK! COOL! of course, my point is not that everyone poops, but that we're all in the human experience together. but i have to read the book anyway! because everyone does poop!!!

Anonymous said...

in fact, pooping is an important element of mental health.
If you don't get anything else accomplished or off your mind in a day, at least you can take solace that you did the ole #2.

nonprofitprophet said...

uh, some poop is more fearfully made than others dude!
my post of today is sorta loosely (no bowel movement pun intended) on this, uh, subject matter. ~npp

JAC said...

haha -- i looove this, rick! because i am currently more aware of and in touch with (ahem, literally) my BMs than ever. since coming to africa, i've had just about every color, consistency, and frequency you could imagine... and it is ceaselessly interesting. it's like a mystery every day! what will it BE today?!

Rick Diamond said...

is that one of the joys of being in a foreign country?????????? WOW! i want to travel!