Wednesday, February 11, 2009

one's own creation

Here's a quote from the Dalai Lama.
the opening, about gossip, is only an example for his main point. read it and reel with head-expanding energy.

If you know that someone is speaking badly of you behind your back, and if you react to that negativity with a feeling of hurt, then you destroy your own peace of mind. One's pain is one's own creation. One should treat such things as if they are wind behind one's ear. In other words, just brush them aside. To a large extent, whether or not one suffers pain depends on how one responds to a given situation. What makes a difference is whether or not one is too sensitive and takes things too seriously.

that can't be right, can it? my pain is my own creation, when it's connected to being so sensitive that i take things too seriously? i gotta go think some more ...

6 comments:

Laurel said...

Hmmm...I've got to respond to this. The Dalai Lama might be right, One should not give to the feelings of hurt by reacting with negative, harmful actions. However, we're human and we have emotions. One's pain is one's own creation. Brushing the pain aside, one should consider if they're too sensitive and taking things too seriously. For me, these ideas in the quote projects a negative connotation. For me, it denies our humanity. We grabble with meaning. We get angry. We get sad. Our feelings get hurt. Christ is even evident of that. It's apart of being human. How we exert those emotions once we have then is another story....

Maybe the Dalai Lama's quote works best when someone is in seclusion or living apart from others. But for now, I'm resorting to being sensitive and learning to forgive...

Meris said...

I agree Laurel, but will add this...

Perhaps I am over analyzing his statement, but I have seen interviews with him and he has expressed very human emotions.

He did not say we don't *experience* pain, but we do not have to *suffer* it extensively.

mike said...

Lately I have been trying to address things in my emotional life similarly to the way I address physical things. So, I would address the passage by focusing on the words "hurt" and "pain." These are symptoms. When I experience them, the question is, "What malady is creating this system, and what is the cure?" The symptoms and the malady are certainly personal, in that it is my health that is being affected; it is thus not surprising that the process of health at least initially focuses on me - "I have these symptoms, what is my healthy response?" In the passage you quote, the malady seems to be my threshold of pain. People are people, they talk and say things I don't like, they act bad, they do things I don't like; I cannot be healthy if I overract to these day-to-day inevitable experiences. There may be experiences that go beyond the "hurt" that is merely my ego - for example, where my relationships with others may be damaged by what is said. In such cases it is not accurate to say the the hurt or damage is simply my own creation. Here the malady is not merely my sensitivity, and health requires some proactivity beyond myself. Here, I am trying to come to the point where I address the malady, and not just the symptoms. If I feel hurt, I might have the reaction to hurt back. I might react by depression, or self-doubt. What do these reactions do to restore my health? Probably very little, in fact I may have metastized the malady, both in me and externally. So, I think that the most important thing to try to recognize when I feel pain or hurt is (1) my being is telling me there is something wrong that needs to be addressed; (2) the objective is not simply to relieve and/or appease those symptoms but rather to identify the malady and act in a manner calculated to restore health.

nonprofitprophet said...

I think his point is our reaction to the circumstance. Its like forgiveness isn't really for the other person overall. I cut and pasted this and emailed it to my staff today.

Broken said...

I hurt and feel pain at my core; my life is crumbling down around me. My mind and spirit have been lied to and deceived. The very things that I cherished in my life are being ripped apart. Why did all this happen?

I asked God; I did not get an answer.

I asked what should I do. The answer I got in my head sucks. " Just love those that hurt you and you will survive, regardless of the outcome".

So I am trying to put my pain in a place in the shadows of my soul. There is time to work on it. I need to work on the pain of those close to me. Forgive them and let them know we can all be okay. I stare down the demon inside me, justing waiting there to wreak violence and vengance upon those that hurt me. Letting that loose will solve nothing, not my pain, not my heart, not my life.

SO I have work to do, and I will live.

journeyingrick said...

dear broken,
yes. the answer sucks.
that answer is also where salvation and healing and power are.
the travel in is the way through.
the letting go of the things you had built and counted on is horribly painful, heart-wrenching, and it feels like it'll kill you.
but it is the way to freedom.

stare at the darkness.
the darkness seeks to overcome the light, but it can't.
the light always wins. it just doesn't do it as quickly as we'd like.
but then, the air smells that much sweeter when the fog lifts.