Thursday, July 9, 2009

some excerpts from the guide to life, “How Not To Follow Jesus”


Say prayers that sound important.


Worry that you're not the absolute beloved of God.




Refuse to trust that Jesus knew what he was saying when he told us to look at flowers and get some perspective.


See other people as objects.


Know Jesus' story about how the fool said to himself, 'I will build a bigger barn' … and build a twenty-million-dollar worship center anyway.


Speak with hatred or disgust about, or to, a human being. As in, “God hates fags” or “Terrorists deserve to rot in hell” or “That bitch!” or “I’m a fuckin’ loser!”


See other people as “the” whatever – “the poor,” “the homeless,” “the enemy,” “the rich,” “the conservatives,” “the Christians,” “the Muslims,” “the hypocrites.”


Belong to a church and be an asshole at the same time.


Act with cruelty or selfishness toward things or people that you perceive as weaker than you are. Children, old people, animals, family members, “those less fortunate.”




See yourself as less than.


Make it all make sense.


Refuse to throw the net on the other side of the boat. Even when – or especially when – you’ve caught nothing all night. And you know all about fishing. Or life management. Or whatever you think you know all about.


Give up wrestling with the question about what belongs to Caesar and what belongs to God.


Believe that what you own will make you happy.


Refuse to believe that your birth was miraculous.


Give up. (Not to be confused with Letting Go.)

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